How to Stop Feeding our Ego and Start Loving ourself
“The world will ask you who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you.” - Carl Jung
The definition of ego is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-image.
The ego has been shaped from the moment we were born and starts with imposed conditions outside of our true spiritual self. Ego is the false image we have of ourself based on what we've been conditioned to believe. This belief comes from the human condition, what we were told, how we were treated and how others reacted to us at a young age.
The ego cares more about what other people think. It drives us to do things to please others and seek their approval. It drives us to behave in a conditioned way. The ego keeps us locked in a cage for our own good and keeps us from knowing our true self because the ego is all about human survival and domination.
What Feeds the Ego?
Calling it "My Ego". The ego is the voice of Divine Separation and we agree with it. The ego is the accuser, blamer and the jailer and we listen to it. The ego wants to keep us safe in our tiny comfort zone, even if our comfort zone isn’t healthy or good for us. These familiar comfort zones are traps we get caught in and start surrendering to. The ego uses many tactics to get us to obey, like worry, doubt, fear, intimidation, humiliation, threats, illness, confusion, distractions, addictions. This ego structure will act like a GPS system to keep us from stepping beyond the paradigms we were formed into as children
When we don’t know who we truly are, others opinions and the outside world will feed our false self. We can stop feeding the ego by refusing to identify with it. We can stop listening to that voice. At any moment we can lean in and decide to embrace who we are and open to knowing our true self as a Center of Divine Operation, an offspring of God, made in the image of God.
How to Start Loving Your True Self
“The need to prove who you are will vanish once you know who you are.” – Danielle Pierre
Letting the familiar ego structure of prescribed paradigms go takes courage and requires stretching beyond our comfort zone and being with the unknown. As we start letting and allowing what’s supposed to happen through us and as us, we open to abundant Divine Grace. Here are 3 ways to stop feeding the ego so that we can love ourself even more.
1. Break up with the habit of comparing yourself to others.
Comparing yourself to others is a loosing situation. We end up feeling bad about ourselves because there will always be someone prettier, in better shape, smarter and richer.
Instead, focus on saying loving things to all your features, speak kindly to yourself, focus on treating yourself as a whole healthy being, learn more about things that interest you, become financially wise and a good steward of money.
2. Stop judging yourself based on worldly standards of society.
When someone says, “You should be married with kids by now." or "You Should be more successful" or "You Should ..." it's time to set boundaries and stop taking on other's judgment. Judging ourself on societal expectations keeps us stuck.
It is okay if the thing we want haven't happened in the time we wanted. We are unique and when it comes to receiving our hearts desire, our path is not the same as everyone else’s. We have the opportunity to create the kind of experiences we desire. We can put our focus into doing the inner work that removes assumptions and habits that have kept us from embracing our wholeness.
3. Stop looking for other people’s validation
“Don’t seek love externally, it’s fleeting. Go beyond the ego and awaken the love that already exists within. It will encompass everyone and everything in your life. It will permeate your very being.” – Danielle Pierre
The reason we look for validation from other people is to look good or feel better about ourselves. When other’s respond favorably, we are happier, feel loved and all is well in the world. We may have even sacrificed ourself for a parent, lover, spouse or friend only to have them react abusively. In this situation, the world is turned upside down, leaving us feeling unsure about ourself.
Our own validation of who we are will raise our self-esteem and self-worth. We can validate ourselves by determining and living our core values, and setting boundaries. We can do things that make us feel good – things that soothe our soul and let our inner beauty shine. In doing so, we will come to know our worth and validate ourself.
It is Your Birthright to know and hear the voice of your Source.
The truth is, it is your birthright to be loved regardless of comparisons, the norm and validation from others. Don't let other people, the ego voice nor your thoughts tell you lies. Your Spiritual DNA is Perfect! Let Spirit inform, transmute and cleanse the mind like cleaning virus off a computer. If you want to have true and lasting love with someone, the way to have this is by loving yourself fully by agreeing with God about who you are and what you are worth.